As I grow older, I find myself trying to cling the the past. Specifically the rituals my parents had done, the music they have listented too, the language they spoke and everything that had wished to instill in me that I was too young at the time to understand.

I began by cleaning on the weekends. I know it sounds crazy but I recall my mom getting up in the morning to clean with a stack of CDs ready to go. We would be tasked to help if we were too close and sometimes whisked into dance. I remember cringing away, but now as I too dance in my kitchen, I will pick up my cat close to my chest and recreate this scene. I can see she was simply whisked away in the music like I was.

So then naturally I had to make the playlist and I went on this nostalgic journey to try and recall songs that have ingrained themselves in my head and a few that were simply too deep but resurfaced when the familiar beat came to me.

Recently, perhaps of the time I have gone into another nostalgic phase. I found this song that I had sent to my mom with a teasing message. "I remember you listened to his band religiously."

I do want to find new music as well. This is possibly why when my friend showed me a song from very recently that I enjoyed I became elated despise the songs message.

This year I plan to celebrate the Day of the Dead. It is not something I have actually done, but I wan too, I want to honor those that have passed and remember them. Do I care if this is possibly a ritual forced upon by the catholic church during a time of colonization. I do a little, but ultimately I want this to be mine, like I believe many other do.

I will order my flowers, make myself an alter and hopefully return a part of myself back home.